Oscar Wilde once said “Be yourself because everyone else is already taken” Seems humorous, but this is something that has been percolating in my little head, ok overly large head according to hat sizes, the last couple days.
The other night I was having dinner with 2 ladies and at one point I looked at them and I got this overwhelming sense from them that they knew exactly who they were and they don’t care what anyone else thinks because no one can mess with them. I couldn’t help but be envious and then I remembered there was a time that I was exactly like them before I started to give up pieces of myself to be in a relationship with someone. Now before everyone gets all bend out of shape, I understand that you make compromises and such when in a relationship with someone, but the more distance I get from mine I realize more and more that some of the things I was giving up, wasn’t normal. This is a common theme that both many men and woman do. I do not intend to make this error again.
So I took to some reading and came across this amazing article (click here to read), but to summarize the article…
1. Find yourself and define yourself on your own terms.
2. Avoid fixating on the past and not letting yourself grow.
3. Stop caring how others perceive you.
4. Be honest and open.
5. Relax. Stop worrying.
6. Treat yourself as you’d treat your own best friend
7. Develop and express your own individuality.
8. Stop comparing yourself to others.
9. Follow your own style.
10. Accept that some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue.
I have stared at this list for quite a while now, read it about 100 times and thought about each individual point. I’ve walked away made coffee, had lunch in hopes of not thinking about it, but these 10 items are pretty powerful.
Who I am is someone that loves people. I love taking on my personal growth every day with careless abandon. Even the days or weeks that I seem to fall flat on my face and stay down, I know those are the times I’m truly growing. I love wiping away the tears, standing up and dusting myself off. Giving up what others think about me but the more I focus on this the less I stop defining myself on my own terms and allow others to dictate what I’m capable of. Be honest and open, I do my best to always communicate what’s going on, what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling. It throws people of sometimes because I’m always clear about where I’m at. I swear on my life worrying is a genetic trait, this is an ongoing battle. Treating myself with the love, kindness and appreciate that I treat my best friend with, well epic fail is all I have to say, but willing to take this on.
I have this amazing friend Celeste that has this personal style that others envy. She would wear whatever outfit she wanted and because of her attitude it didn’t matter because she could pull it off. I have her to thank for the development of my personal style. She taught me to wear what you want and don’t apologize to anyone for it. She taught me that the biggest part of an outfit is your attitude about it. I have this addiction to taking a pair of scissors to t-shirts, making sure I wear something pink almost every day and wearing things that I love be them popular brands or not.
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