Testing all Giggles, Testing all Giggles....

So there have been a few mornings where I have woken up with the giggles and/or a big ol' smile on my face. Don't know why.... perhaps it was the dreams the night before or the Nyquil that is getting me through is gnarly cold I have, don't particularly care, but let me say this. Waking up this way is THE BEST way to start a day.

Normally I wake up, roll over, smack the snooze button and wonder how long I can milk it till I have to absolutely get out of bed now or I will be late for work. I dream of my coffee as it is brewing and curse the sleep gods for making 6am come far to early. Waking up, smiling and doing a lil giggle makes the morning way more entertaining.

Yesterday morning was the same way and so on my way to work I had the giant smile plastered across my face and it was amazing to me how many people got weirded out by this, on the flip side the number of people that appreciated the smile and friendly "Good Morning" was far more amazing. They stop, look at you, get the biggest smile on their face, and say thank you for even acknowledging their existence. Now let me ask you this, would you rather start the day grumpy or giggly? Would you rather make someone's day or make someone's day miserable? You decide :)

I personally choose being a lil ray of sunshine! After all, I live in Vancouver someone's gotta bring the sunshine because lord knows Mother Nature isn't!

Saying Goodbye....

I was indulging in a old TV show that was a favourite of mine, Ugly Betty. Ok, Ok, Ok, it isn't that old, but sadly it isn't on the TV anymore. The last scene Betty has this really great monologue, which I would like to share.

" I've had to say goodbye more times that I would have liked, but everyone can say that and no matter how many times we do it, even when its for the greater good, it still stings. And though we'll never forget what we've given up we owe it to ourselves to keep moving forward. What we can't do is live out lives always afraid of the next goodbye, because chances are they are not going to stop. The trick is to recognize when a goodbye can be a good thing, when it's a chance to start again."

In making the decision to move my life forward I knew that there was going to be a cost, but I knew that the cost of me not moving forward was far greater. When you finally wake up and realize your own worth and find love for yourself you notice how you have certain people in your life that support the old negative you and when you start to move forward they do everything they can to hold you back. I've had people "defriend" me on Facebook or flat out ask me if I've joined some sort of "cult". Now the smart alec in me tries desperately to refrain from responding to that last comment with a "Yes, a happiness one, you REALLY need to join." All I have done is make some changes in my thought processing, I giggle more, laugh more and smile a TON more.

Everyone displays themselves in the world a certain way and for many years I displayed myself a certain way. This way worked for me for many many years and gave me a pretty great life, but I want more now. I have begun to show up a different way and there are people in my life that don't want to be a part of that, so we've had to say goodbye. I respect their decision and I hope that in time they will come to respect mine.

Now, for a girl who's only filter for life has been "I'm fat and ugly please be my friend" this has cost me some tears and long conversations with those that love and support what I am up to. Saying goodbye is never an easy task, but as stated in the quote above it's about recognizing when its for a good thing. I will always think of those that have come and gone from my life with nothing but love in my heart, but there is a tiny part of me that will miss them and hopes that maybe one day our paths will cross again.

Now be careful when you giggle more people will think you're weird :)

Update Time Again!

It is that time of the month party peeps! YAY for update time and picture time.These past four weeks have provided so much growing, learning, laughing and tears that I honestly feel as if I have come out the other side a new person. I moved mountains in some areas and I stayed the same in others, so let's begin shall we :)

Let's begin with the picture! You'll notice two pictures in this blog post, because I couldn't pick which one to use. Having my picture taken was a torturous task for me. It was made a little easier if I take it myself because then I could control certain aspects of the picture. After taking a series of pictures I would sit down and flip through to find the one that was the least horrible of them, saying various not nice things to myself. This time was an entirely different experience! The whole time flipping through my pictures I was singing "I'm bringing SexyBack....them other..." Well you get the idea! Just in case you don't feel free to take a Justin Timberlake break with the link provided below. Moving along, it is a completely different experience to relate to myself as HOT. Something some people have been trying to tell me for years, so I am enjoying the moment and going to see where it takes me.  If there is one thing that has been drilled into my head is that beauty comes from within, not an outside source! Just gotta keep repeating that to myself.

For a couple weeks this month it felt like if anything was going to go wrong, it happened in those two weeks. I spent a few days curled up in tears trying to figure out what the heck was going on, hid from friends, and defiantly did not complete everything I said I was going to within these 4 weeks, because I came up with some really valid excuses!  The great thing is these past 4 weeks have given me some really great blog posts which I am EXCITED to share with you. If I was to write about it all in this post it would be WAY to long, so strap yourself in for the ride ladies and gentlemen!

Don't want to ignore a couple of points though!

I did not loose any weight, however I did not gain anything either, that is according to the scale. However if I go by the fit of my clothes, things are defiantly starting to feel a little looser. I would also like to take a moment and pay thanks to the Stairmaster. You and I have never really gotten along, but good lord my calf muscles love you! Gonna have me some sexy gams, by the time we are done :) I will be moving from a cardio only fitness routine to the addition of weights on a more regular basis. Yoga has been a saving grace, if nothing else than the stretching. Have not quite mastered that whole "Yoga for the mind" part, but we'll get there. My back thanks for the stretches.

Reading, check! All the exercises complete, fail! I am reading about 3 different books right now with the intention of going back to complete the exercises, part of me wonders if I will actually go back to complete them....we will see. Gumption and 1 thing a day that scares me, oh Lord did I. I honestly believe, that for me practising these two items is something that will forever be on my monthly updates!

Lastly, the most exciting of them all! Item #3 on my 2011 goals.....COMPLETED! I have successfully completed, filed and received my passport! YAY! You can't see it right now, but I am doing my SexyBack dance :)

That is all for now ladies and gents, but as I said stay tuned for some posts, because they are gonna be good!

P.S - Welcome to those in Morocco and Russia reading away

For the next four weeks....

1. Loose 8lbs
2. Read daily. You may ask yourself why reading? Well I'm a firm believer in that to grow as a person you need to be always learning and I love to learn, so I read.
3. Do 1 thing a day that scares me & continue to practice gumption
4. Exercise 4 times a week, minimum 30 minutes. I am dropping two days, because I found it quite difficult to stick with the 6 days a week and think that goal was a bit harsh going from maybe 2 to 6 days, so I'm gonna go with 4 and work back up to 6 days :)

G'nite all !

People Can Be...

Well it is safe to say that I am a little angry at this exact moment in time. I'm not to stoked at the fact that it is anger that has brought me to write this post, but it is what it is I guess.....

People are cruel, this is a fact.

I was on back to back phone calls this morning and when I came out of my office, downstairs to check on me peeps I find one of my girls hiding around a corner on the verge of tears because of a really mean comment a customer made to her. As I walked towards her the tears started flowing and we swiftly moved out of public view and she told me what happened. The first thing I wanted to do was cause bodily harm to this mean and cruel person. It is quite clear that because of their ignorance and low self-esteem they felt the need to take it out on the sweetest, kindest most harmless person, might as well have kicked a small animal, for peeps sake!

Secondly, I log on tonight to read one of my most favouritest blogs to find this sad sad post. Kandee makes some valid points which I would like to briefly mention. Whatever happened to the mantra "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all" or one of my favourites "treat others as you wish to be treated" Has society really gone so far left field that when someone tries to shine their light on the world the easiest thing to do is cut them down? Kandee shines her light so bright and has impacted more lives that she is probably not even aware of so because of this people try to burn out her light? Because my girl at work loves her job and genuinely loves to help people and a customer was having a bad day they felt it better to burn out her light?

Sharing yourself and letting the world see your light is the greatest gift you can give. Even if you think you don't have a light, you do. Don't let anyone or anything take that away from you. If people try to burn out your light smile, and with love in your heart, flip them the finger and shine your light even brighter!

I look forward to the day that I have the same amount of courage that Kandee has to shine my light that bright and impact the number of lives she has. I have never met Kandee, but I can say that by reading her two blogs on days when my light wasn't shining so bright it made the difference for me. Today I was able to make the difference for my girl at work. You too can make a difference for someone.

"Never let someone else stop your shine....the darker their presence, the more you illuminate on the rest of the world.!" - Honey B.