Since I wrote my blog post about my Little Red Worry Wagon, it’s the first time, in a few months, that I`ve felt like I have taken a sizeable step forward which has been anything but easy. My favorite sentence has become ``put down the handle to the wagon Nicole, you picked it up, not put it down.`` What this has also opened up is me noticing the situations in which I pick up the handle, or what`s going through my head when I realize I`ve been holding the handle for a few hours, or a whole day. What`s that old saying about how long it takes to break a habit and form a new one….21 repetitions?
So I’ve been reading this book called “The Power”, it is by the same lovely lady that wrote “The Secret”. I have been moving through this book slowly, and by doing so it has been like being repeatedly hit over the head with a baseball bat, golf club or hockey stick, pick your weapon of choice. It has, however, forced me to acknowledge the extent that I go to bed every night, wake up every morning with, cuddle with, brush my teeth with, and make out with my BFF Negativity.
It’s funny, if you’d asked me if I consider myself to be a negative person I would probably tell you no, that I consider myself to be a fairly optimistic/glass half full type girl. Turns out, not so much! What I have noticed is that my relationship with negativity runs deeper than that. It is almost an ingrained belief in myself that is as natural as putting on mascara or brushing my teeth. Little things happen and I have a reaction to it which I’ve noticed starts this whole circle/cycle of negativity and if there is one thing that this book is hammering home it is that, what you give out comes back. So in conjunction with putting down the handle to my little red wagon I’ve taken on letting go of negativity.
Now I’m not saying that I’m going to be one of those chipper, happy perky people that’s not what I’m talking about, if you’ve met me, you’d know that sarcasm is my other BFF and it’s a part of my charm and humor. What I’m talking about working on is those, what at times, seem automatic opinions and judgements. For example, I see a girl sitting on a bus and she’s got on this cute dress. I say to myself “cute dress wish I could wear something like that” and then proceed to roll through the list of reasons why I can’t in my head and before I know it I have belittled myself to a tiny pea. It’s that automatic response that I’ve gone to work on. I’m stopping now at “Wow, that’s a cute dress”. I’m giving out compliments and gratitude and taking that bat that I’ve been hitting myself with and hitting the negativity balls out of the park. Ok, just realized that I need to work on my sports metaphors.
If the universe gives back what you give out, there is no way that I want negativity back, so I’m gonna stop giving it out. If what I want in life is love, faith, gratitude and beauty for everyone, then that is what I have to give out.
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