Goals - Week 5

After taking a week off from goals that didn't turn out very well  I am keeping it simple this week boys and girls. 


1. Minimum of 30 mins of exercise a day
2. Read 1 chapter a day of a book that contributes to my life (FYI - Harlequin novels don't count)
3. Do 1 thing a day that scares me
4. Practice gumption

Word of the Week.....

I ran into a long time acquaintance this morning on my way to work and, as we were doing the quick catch up before our respected transit buses arrived, the one word I would use to describe her and would say I've always used to describe her is ..... gumption. Of course this got the ol' wheels turning and out came the "memo" function on my Blackberry. I think the guy sitting next to me is in awe at the speed of my thumbs. I'm tempted to look at him and say "Yes, I really could kick your ass at any video game." alas I continue my memo to self. 


Definition of gumption you ask? According to our friends over at Dictionary.com (again thank you Blackberry for this free app) it is "courage; spunk; guts"


Now would I say this is a word I would use to describe myself....ummmm.....nope, but well lets face it we can't really trust the words we'd use to describe ourselves. I would whole heartedly say that living my life with a certain level of gumption is defiantly the direction I am heading towards. I believe and know that there are situations and experiences that I have gone through that have taken a certain about of gumption, but not on an on going constant basis. I look at the women I surround myself with, my friends, my role models and even some of the girls at work and I would say they have it in spades and it is absolutely a quality I admire about them. 


So now what, well as I look at my lunch bag, which so happens to be the infamous Lulu lemon bag, staring my in the face is "Do one thing a day that scares you." I remember this scene from a really good movie "The Holiday" where they are talking about "be the leading lady in your own life". 

So, this week while tying it together with my "being enough" exercise I am going to practice gumption! 


Let's see what this week has in store......

Being Enough...

I seem to have this ever so constant question always running through my head .... Why am I never enough?

Not pretty enough... 
Not skinny enough...
Not funny enough...
Not enough combined of all of the above to get the guy...
Not smart enough to get the job...
Not smart enough to manage money better...
Not courageous enough...


Good lord a person could drive themselves crazy with the list of "Not ______ enough " running through their head.

Now as we are all obviously aware, this mental thought pattern is NOT HEALTHY!

Now logically I know that I have to consider myself enough before anyone else will, so my question is this.... How do you get there? How do you to place where you know and love what you got? Now I know there are going to be some followers that will have the answer and it may sound something like "You have to choose" or "You have to accept yourself for everything you are and everything you are not", well I think I may have figured it out and I am going take my theory for a test drive over the next couple weeks! 


My theory is this, each day you have to remind yourself over and over again that you are and when the situation or opportunity presents itself that tests whether you are or are not, scream out loud that you are enough! OK not totally certain that makes sense in typing it, but it sure does makes sense in my head :) 

Patience, Motivation & Determination

Those are 3 words that I have been lacking, to the point of even considering I am missing that gene in my genetic make-up, yes yes relax I know those are not genetic traits!


If you are following along you will note that I did not post my weekly goals on Monday for Week 4. It is with shame and embarrassment that I hang my head, but then I remember that I am a human being and therefore no where near perfect. As perfect as I try to be and try to come across as such I take comfort in the fact that EVERYONE has things on there "To Do" list that has been kicking around for quite some time. Think about your list, I'll give you a minute.......take your time.......


So I have since discovered the key to getting these items complete! Patience, motivation and determination. Three simple words that happen to pack quite a wallop when you think about it. 


Patience with yourself and allowing yourself to deal with the reasons and excuses this item has been on your "To Do" list for as long as it has. For me being overweight has been a defense mechanism, a really great way to keep people at bay and not really let anyone get close to me, disarming those mechanisms doesn't happen over night and as MUCH as I wish they would I need to have patience with myself to make mistakes, loose motivation and loose sight of my goals. I'm quickly learning that as hard as I am on myself to be "perfect", doing this weight loss game perfectly isn't going to get er' done. 


Motivation to keep the end goal in sight, your eye on the prize, the reason for the game, whatever metaphor, sports or otherwise you'd like to insert here. Now, if there is one thing this little spill off the wagon has taught me is that doing this myself and relying on myself to keep me motivated is an error on my part. Let's face it, I am my own worst enemy and if there is anyone that can talk myself out of doing something, I am the Jedi Master, move over Yoda. 


Determination to not let anyone or anything mess with your reason for playing the game. For me, it's my health. I want to have the pacemaker removed and live a healthy, happy vital life. I'm not doing this for anyone but me, wait that's a lie, I'm doing this also for the children I hope to have one day, but mostly it's for me so I have the energy to keep up with them :) Determination for me is also not letting anyone or anything get in your way. Spending less time on the "wagon" then off it.


So, to assist myself in this journey I have provided myself with a few assistants ! YAY to lil' helpers! 

Helper #1

Helper #2

My lil' helpers are posters that I have on the cupboard in my kitchen. The first one is a litle collage I made with sayings, people and things that I think are pretty and want to be able to fit into. The second is actually a  three page Nike ad that I fell in love with. Page 1 - Make Yourself Proud, Page 2 - Make Yourself Strong, Page 3 - Make Yourself Fit. Also not shown here are all my friends that I know I can call in a heartbeat if I need a little boost and shot of motivation, that's the key to not doing it alone. Been living the "solo mission" game for quite a while, time to play it different!


Peace out my Lovelies! 

Accepting Applications.....

Just to have a little fun, I'm currently accepting applications from the following individuals for the position of boyfriend and potential husband. Only those listed need apply :) 

Ryan Reynolds

James Franco

Gerard Butler

Jared Leto

Kevin Costner (every girl has their "older man" fantasy!)

Jake Gyllenhaal

Reset Button

For a majority of the afternoon I have been craving one of those big ol' red buttons that you could push for a "do over". Knowing that this is a dangerous tunnel to go down, I decided to go anyway. I started going over all the times in my life where I would have pushed that button in a heartbeat. I'd do over this last week, I'd do over high school, I'd do over over getting a pacemaker, I'd do over having a heart condition in general. I'd do over some stupid decisions that changed the course of my life. I'd do over, actually not do at all, some relationships, both with boys and friends. I'd take back and do over some judgments and decisions I've made about people in my life. I think its fair to say that we all have a long list of things we'd like to hit the reset buttons for. Of course me being a thinker and a slight over analyzer....

I don't want a do over or a reset. There is that cliche saying that everyone uses, because quite honestly, it's the truth. Everything happens for a reason. Everything that I have ever done or said or have had happen to me, made me who I am today. The mean girls in elementary and high school taught me about the kind of girl I didn't want to be and they taught me about the importance of standing up for myself. Going through what I went through with my heart and getting a pacemaker showed me how strong I really am. It taught me perseverance and it taught me about forgiveness. It showed me how precious this gift of life really is. All the dating and bad relationships I've been in taught me to never settle for less than what I know I deserve. I really should thank them because when I do meet "Mr. Right" I am defiantly going to appreciate him! I guess the point is, everything you've been through in life has made you who you are today, who I am today and although there are things about me right now I'd like to change who I am is fabulous. I am me, and I wouldn't be me without my flaws and imperfections. I'm unique and an original and that's exactly who I'm supposed to be. You're unique and an original and that's exactly who you're supposed to be.

Embrace yourself for everything that you are and everything that you are not.

Discovery of Bliss!

OK I have truly discovered bliss! Are you ready for it?...

• Hot shower after a long day travelling to and from the Sunshine coast for work.....check.

View from the ferry

• Brand new flannel pajama's that you paid $4.50 for from work because you cracked a box of product 2 seasons old...... check. 

My sexy new pajama's!!

• One glass of really yummy red wine....check.

Random photo from the internet

• Dancing around your apartment to 80's tunes (see some of my favorites below) for 45 mins.....BLISS!