Being Yourself...

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”  ~E.E. Cummings~

So I had this really interesting experience recently while attending a concert.

Normally attending an event such as this would require a lot of prep time on my part, hours spend trying on different outfit options, another hour spent on my make-up color choices and then of course the hair. Yes, all of this for a few hours spent at a show. This is normally how I approach each day, but on a much smaller scale of course. What's the deal with all the time spent you may be asking? Well let me give you a little insight to inside my head.

It's all about looking good. There were going to be over 6000 people there and a portion of that is going to be male and as a single female, well it doesn't take a genius to know that you want to look good for the opposite sex. It is also about this need that I have to prove that not all overweight people look sloppy. They can also look hot, sexy and confident… see where I am going?

Wanna know what happened day of.... I was having coffee with the BFF and decided that I was going to enjoy the genius DJ's that are Avicii & David Guetta. I was going to dance and have a good time. I was going to check the insecurities at the door, leave the cute outfit in the closet and be comfortable so that I could dance and enjoy the night. So, I wore a t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. Of course I “Nikkifyed” them with pink and fun makeup but it was no where close to what I had previously planned.

Upon arrival at the venue I began to regret my decision when I saw girl after girl walking around in heels, short skirts, dresses, cleavage baring tops etc until my friends reminded me about how much fun we were going to have so once again I put those nasty little thoughts aside and began to dance!

Here is how my night went....FUN, Dance, FUN, Dance, singing, FUN, dancing, FUN, and more singing. When I heard Avicii do the opening sequence to his single Bromance, I didn't care. I was just thankful to be at the show that everything else just melted away.  Here is what else I saw, girl after girl kicking off the heels because their feet were killing them, girls in the washroom complaining about how uncomfortable their dress was, etc... In that moment I was thankful for my choice. I had fun dancing ridiculously with my friend and taking in the man-candy that was in attendance at this event. I swear every hot man in Vancouver was there, it was DELIGHTFUL to enjoy!

Here is my point. I had more male attention that night in a t-shirt and jeans than I’d ever gotten before. I didn’t care because I’m getting that it didn’t have anything to do with what I was wearing, but more to do with the fact that my friend and I were just there to dance and have FUN.

I’m slowly learning that it isn’t about what you wear or what you look like. It is about being yourself and not being what you think someone else wants you to be or acting how you think someone wants you to act. It’s about being you, all the insecurities, neuroses and faults that make you who you are. I’m beginning to think that the only really horrible is that we try to hide them. I say put them on display, that way there are no surprises and you don’t have to stress yourself out about trying to keep them hidden.

I’m beginning to wonder…why do we spend so much time trying to hide who we are in hopes that no one finds out, but when you really stop and think about it, everyone is doing the exact same thing so why not put it all out there, take a deep breath and finally relax.

Here is what I’m putting on display…

1. I am WAY to emotional sometimes. I will act/react that have to do damage control, apologize and reign it back in.
2. Sometimes the words start flowing out of my mouth, long before my brain has had time to finishing processing the thought.
3. I am sensitive and sometimes take on other peoples problems/emotions as my own and try to help them, without them even asking
4. I am sarcastic, thank you to my mother for this trait. At times it is my defense mechanism, but most of the time it is just my sense of humor that gets me into trouble.
5. I have a really hard time giving up control
6. I hate dealing with conflict

I’m certain I could probably add 25 more items to this list, but the point is to stop worrying about them, put them on display and be myself, the good, the bad and the ugly. There is a famous quote out there that says “Be who you are because those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind, don’t matter”

What are you putting on display?